Can We Really Be Happy?
Happiness is promoted widely as an ultimate state of Being worth aspiring towards. However — it is neither permanently real, nor temporary finite, and as such lends itself to be of spectacular illusion.
The good news is that humans (perhaps as the only known species) have been equipped with the ability to artificially create happiness for themselves, but how?
Synthetic Happiness
Nobody has perhaps captured this better than Dan Gilbert in his Ted talk “The surprising science of happiness”, which is absolutely worth watching from beginning to end:
As much as we all constantly use the concept of synthetic happiness without our conscious control (to often simply manipulate ourselves into comfort during even the most undesirable circumstances), we can very much apply the same technique to:
replace a “problem” with a “challenge” or
change a “perception” by simply changing the “view”.
Merely a change of perception can sometimes be enough to trigger a rewrite of our mental wires and with it we could achieve quite tangible outcomes in our lives, at will, and when required.
A National Happiness Index
Happiness has become political capital. Five years in a row, Finland has topped the World’s Happiness Report now. Meanwhile the UAE has officially opened several “Customer Happiness Centers” with an actual Minister of State for Happiness and Wellbeing as part of the National Happiness Agenda.
The pioneer of the Wellbeing Economy movement however was the country of Bhutan, which in seeing the failures of GDP as the sole indicator of development, created a Gross National Happiness index to gauge the wellbeing of its citizens.
Of course it’s one thing to know what makes people happy, but quite another to live a happy life oneself:
When I was cycling to Bhutan, I let go of the idea of ever reaching Bhutan many times, and through doing so I ensured my journey remained purposeful and enjoyable. And, when I did arrive, beautiful as Bhutan was, exhaustion and homesickness dominated. If we’re not happy along the way, then we ought to question whether it’s worth going at all. — Christopher Boyce, Honorary Research Associate at the Behavioural Science Centre, University of Stirling
Happiness vs. Joy vs. Bliss
Contrary to public research and international country lists in “happiness rankings”, in my personal experience the depths of happiness cannot be measured in scientific terms yet. Our emotions (generally) are just way too volatile to even consider an objective approach.
Unless someone is a steadfast meditator with constant inner communion and real-time self-awareness from a neutral state of perceiving at least one’s own seven major moods —
fear
uncertainty
lack of interest
loneliness
oversensitivity
despondency and despair
overcare for the welfare of others
— approaching the question of happiness from a scientific research point of view is a misleading goal from the start.
The definitions of why those seven are taken from Dr. Edward Bach’s book “Twelve Healers” — if you’d like to learn more, see the PDF version as follows (courtesy of the Bach Centre):
Bach Flower remedies have helped me tremendously in my life to manage all sorts of expectations around “happiness” and in my family we’ve used them at all ages and for animals and plants, too, with quite remarkable results.
Nowadays I also feel that a deep sense of pure joy easily lends itself to a more sustainable and realistic (not synthetic) form of happiness.
More so, pure bliss (without any cause, effect or pre-defined purpose) — as only experienced in a thoughtless state during deep meditation — makes for a wonderful basis of joy, only waiting to be radiated into the world around you.
Is Gratefulness the Key to Happiness?
Perhaps it’s indeed as simple as the monastic David Steindl-Rast says:
It’s not happiness that makes you grateful. It’s gratefulness that makes you happy.
My Personal Perception
Why settle for happiness? Why not for growth? Why not for inner joy and peace?
I know by experience that if I just spend enough time in silence, I will eventually experience bliss, enabling me to choose joy, by which happy moments are nothing but a natural occurrence when the time comes that needs them the most — Toby Ruckert.
I also think that the perception of Happiness is very uniquely tied to our state of consciousness at the time. And the definition of Happiness is highly individual from the outset, so there is no perfect answer.
But yes, unless you are in a deep depression, I do believe it is possible to “choose happy”. And even when confronted with real terror — I hope to believe that by working through places of deep darkness we get eventually rewarded with an even more substantial and vivid light of day. We may not be able to control the circumstances, but we can always encourage each other to try.
I’m convinced nature supports us in every little effort we make to work through our issues or in trying to making others happy, too — whether it’s by going for a walk outside or by simply listening to some uplifting music: